


I Die on October 2nd at Three

by publishthewholeofthis



Series: Love Can Tell a Million (Modern) Stories [1]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Character Study, Drabble, F/M, Hinted Internalized Homophobia, Pre-Canon, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:48:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21993214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/publishthewholeofthis/pseuds/publishthewholeofthis
Summary: It hasn’t been a perfect run, his quest for happiness and the perfect tight-knit family. He’s definitely screwed up and gotten some things mixed up. The small baby bump hidden behind Trina’s bouquet is practically a giant flashing neon sign screaming “SHOTGUN WEDDING”.Can be read alone.
Relationships: Marvin/Trina (Falsettos)
Series: Love Can Tell a Million (Modern) Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/986478
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	I Die on October 2nd at Three

**Author's Note:**

> At long last, I am back with another installment of this series. I've been craving some Falsettoverse lately and I also had a lot of angsty feels that I wanted to juxtapose with a super fluffy wedding scene I'm working on for my own future book so, voila! Angsty wedding Marvin who is not yet the asshole we know and love in Act 1 but who is definitely on his way.

It’s normal to feel nervous, at least that’s what everyone told him. He’s been getting a lot of dime-store philosophy as of late because every married Jewish man he knew suddenly felt as though he was their younger self reincarnate, that they’ve gone through everything he has, is, and will go through, and it was their sworn duty to spread the wisdom. He’s heard it’s okay if he has doubts in the back of his mind or even some legitimate fear because all the love and joy inside his heart trumps it all and if he just focuses on that he’ll be fine. 

It’s a load of bullshit, by the way. 

See, they all assumed he was just like them, so they never told him he can be at the chuppah, watching his bride-to-be march up the aisle in between her parents, and only feel this impending doom gathering before him for the rest of his life. Screw the nerves, or doubts, or the rational fear, because that’s all normal groom with cold feet stuff and he is not a normal groom. He’s alone on a frozen lake, looking down and seeing the ice beneath his feet begin to crack. And there’s nothing he can do, nothing at all because if he stays he’s dead but if he even moves a muscle he’s still dead, buried underwater with no one to pull him out. 

It’s a little dramatic, but Marvin’s always had a little flair for taking everything to the extreme. 

Trina is with him now, and she must see a glimpse of something in his eyes because she reaches for his trembling hand and squeezes it before standing across him. Even she thinks he’s like any other groom, just jittery and watery with nerves and affection, and she mouths a tear-filled, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he mouths back, and he means it. He loves her as much as he can. She’s sweet, gentle, trusting, and she believes in him more than anyone else ever has. She’s a good Jewish girl and she loves him so desperately it mostly makes up for the smallest part of himself that knows he’s got it all wrong. No matter how messed up he is inside, it feels so good to have someone love him with such a fierce devotion. 

It hasn’t been a perfect run, his quest for happiness and the perfect tight-knit family. He’s screwed up and gotten some things mixed up. The small baby bump hidden behind Trina’s bouquet is practically a giant flashing neon sign screaming “SHOTGUN WEDDING”. Yeah, he knows her very traditional father is going to hold this against him for the rest of his life, and if he’s really quiet he can hear the cracking under him, but this: a loving wife and a baby on the way is everything he’s ever wanted. Who cares if it’s not perfect, it’s his.

So it’s time to man up, he’s the head of this new family after all. Marvin takes a deep breath and straightens his shoulders, forcing out all the ridiculous frozen lake metaphors that don’t even make sense and focusing on the now. 

On taking Trina’s hands in his as they recite their vows and exchange their rings.

On laughing at how she smiles and bawls her eyes out at the same time.

On the baby growing inside her, who’s doomed him to this life but who he already loves more than anything. 

On the broken glass and the “Mazel tov”, and always putting on his best face.

_ This is what happy feels like,  _ he tells himself.  _ I’m happy, Trina’s happy, we’re happy.  _

**Author's Note:**

> You don't have to read anything else in the series, but it'll be fun if you do.


End file.
